Cross-posted here: rejenasmiley.wordpress.com/201…
So, I've stayed up just about 24+ hours now… the first part was spent drawing and eating, and the second (like 5:00am-6pm– that's an estimate… I really don't remember how long it was, OTL…) was spent re-reading Hana Yori Dango/ Boys Over Flowers vol. 23-36 (the end). …I really need a bigger bookcase (but I just 'inherited' one from a friend! Arggg!) Technically… I went to bed at like 6:30 pm last night, and took a three-hour nap, and woke up at 9pm-something… I'm strange…
Anyway, while reading it (that super-addictive, but really good manga), I realized something:
If I were Japanese, I'd probably be bald by now.
Why is this? Cutting your hair is a symbol of having a fresh beginning from unrequited love/rejection or heartbreak.
Though, I know it isn't simply a Japanese/"Asian" custom to do this, it is usually found in mangas a lot… and I'd always been told NOT to cut my hair (though I've thought about it often.) It would make it more manageable for sure.
Regardless, if I did believe in that, the amount of times that I would need a 'fresh start' from rejection would be many. However, while reading the manga over– and thinking over some things the past month-ish– I realize that rejection is inevitable, and possibly necessary for getting what you really want. I was talking to a friend last week; she wants to publish a book that she wrote (super-long… very research-based, but still fiction). She'd been working on it years and years since 2003, and finally got it done recently… but now, she is getting "Cold Feet", you might say, about sending it to publishers. And, me– who's been rejected dozens of times from unrequited love, to comic submissions, to other jobs/interviews, to friendship/social circles, etc.– finally thought that I could help encourage someone with all of my "rejection experience." I think I did cheer her up though! But, it's up to her now… I will keep cheering her on though.
I just wanted to say to everyone (who actually reads this), that I've found that it really is a necessary step in reaching your dreams. Now, sometimes "getting what you want" doesn't always mean that you're guaranteed to be happy. Happiness comes from within, not from being "successful". But, for those of you who DO feel like you were put on this earth to fulfill a dream that will help others, you should go for it! Continue to do it until your fingers/brain/ears bleed (or whatever you use for your talents/dreams)!! Sometimes, I think maybe God is testing us to see how much we want something. But even if it's not a test, if it's important to you, you shouldn't just give it up so quickly/easily!! If you love doing it, then go for it!
I realize that there are 7,000,000,000+ people in this world right now… each with their own dreams and aspirations… maybe there are hundreds of thousands wanting to get a "job" or pursuing a dream just like yours. But you are the only one able to write your own unique story… in my case, there are mannnyyyyy people who can draw and write better than I can (comics-wise)… but… that doesn't mean that I should give up, should it? There has to be someone out there who will be able to learn and be happy and appreciate what I wrote/drew, right? I'm the only one that can tell my stories my way, and the same goes for you too.
Of course… we can't control people's reactions to our creations; we can only make them and hope for the best. Just try your best so that you'll have no regrets! And make it for yourself (and God) first (if you don't like it, how can you expect others to like it?); make it to help others, secondly. People-pleasing is the first step to failure, because you are listening to others' dreams for you and not following your own heart or direction. Helping others doesn't have to turn into people-pleasing though (help people to help God); sometimes you just have to be honest about certain situations for the sake of truth (but in a kind, gentle, loving way).
But you know… all of the rejection CAN be disheartening after a while… I still don't know why I keep on trying. But what is the alternative? To lay down and die? To wait until I croak? I have to do something! So, I just wanted to say… don't let the fear stop you! I'd like to think there is a 'right' (not perfect) husband and job there for me… but there are some things you just can't force. We never get there totally on our own power, anyway. God will choose when is the best time for everything… just keep trusting and keep trying. Show them that Tsukushi Makino weed-strength!! (Read HYD to find out more xD; )